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Snigger!!!! - (Oh come on now, stop it)
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After ten minutes, Scotland bored with beaver jokes
It's just not funny, says disappointed teenager...
Scotland suffered a dramatic surfeit of beaver jokes and innuendo following the news that the little critters are to be re-introduced to the country.
Offices reverberated to filthy laughter as conversation around the cooler was inevitably drawn on a rich vein of hoary old chestnuts that Scotland has been deprived of for over three centuries. However, the phenomenon lasted all about ten minutes.
"At first it was funny," admits Ben McPhitt, a far-too-graphic designer, "I mean up here no-one's ever seen a beaver. Er, I mean, not that we're gay or anything, you know what I mean. Beaver, you know, brown, hairy, warm - oh sorry. Please feel free to slap me about the head."
Female colleagues agree, "Oh we've had it all, it's as if the men folk had found a barrel of whisky under the desk. But by the end of the morning they had, as it were, sobered up. Whenever some delivery bloke came in and said something like, 'Hey guys, let's go to Argyll and sniff out some cute Highland beaver!' he was knocked out by a shower of keyboards and old toner cartridges.
Teens have been first to get utterly bored flaccid, with plooky Scottish youths banning any reference to them on Bebo.
"It was kinda funny for a couple of minutes," said one, "but after a while, you know what? It's even put me off the real thing. I mean, who'd want one with great big sharp teeth chewing your log in half? Talk about a let down! The Yanks have been making jokes and snide remarks about beavers for years now. Christ, maybe for a couple of days or so, but come on! New balls please!"
Indeed the whole of Scotland was looking forward to being able to at last join in the beaver jokes, but to coin a phrase - it's all went rather flat.
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