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Aroused?
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Your Letters:
Topics this week include handlebars, Spangles and trans-gendered mice...
Dear Sirs
Only the other day I woke up to find a pair of handlebars in my bed. Has it come to this, that a great nation such as Britain has to go about placing scrap metal in strangers' beds?
They might at least have given me the seat as well.
Totally fed up
Woking
Dear Sirs
Are you not appalled too at the state of our fields? I walk in them regularly as I am mentally infirm most of the day and this helps me relax. But my enjoyment of our fields is totally spoiled by cows, sheep, tractors and other blots on our otherwise beautiful landscape.
And the smell! Farmers, get a grip!
Irene Stubbs
Semi-retired fish dresser
Swanage
Dear Sirs or Madams or Things
I have notice of late that when the media refers to a mouse they generally refer to it as 'he'. Is this not baltant sexism. Mice can be female too you know. Unless they've had an operation, but that's a whole different topic perhaps you might want to take up.
Mr Fiona Cameron
Uist
Dear Sirs
Bring back Spangles!
Trevor Hackfarce
Hull
Dear Sirs
I wish you had an agony column. Perhaps your readers can help me? Of late I have found pictures of gentlemen in penny specs extremely sexually arousing.
Does this make me a pervert?
Worried grandmother
West Lothian
Dear Sirs
Now that Scotland is independent and has its own railway, what about doing up the borders a bit better in our local parks?
I am sure I am not alone in this viewpoint
Mrs Edith Tithefairly
Crewe
LETTER OF THE WEEK
The winner receives £2 of vouchers to spend in Harrods
Dear Sirs
In these very trying times when credit is harder to obtain, house prices are falling, jobs are becoming scarcer, illnesses are still with us and no-one knows how to spell anymore, why doesn't the government set up a system where we all pay a little each each week out of our pay packets and top this up with a proportion that we spend on goods such as cars and bouncy castles.
I feel this system would help us give poor people some relief from what must be truly horrendous and dire circumstances as well as provide centres where they can be treated when unwell and places to learn reading and arithmetic and such.
Ah, but no doubt if you suggested such a simple plan to our politicians they would just say you were barking mad!
Dr Flavius Monstrosity MBE
The Manor
London
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