|
Highly polished - but it's still a turd
|
Smelly alleys means doom for Tate Modern
Art lovers and critics turn their backs on accepted norms...
Fears are rising amongst artists that the Tate Modern could close down as art lovers and critics reject it in favour of tunnels which smell of urine.
"It's a really exciting revolution," Quentin Meanswell, critic with the London Daily Telemail said, "For years I myself have gone almost daily to the Tate Modern to soak up its rarified atmosphere of eclectic juxtapostion and robust statement, but now, I'd rather stand in a cold, piss-filled tunnel and look at grafitti."
The new wave follows on the popularity of Banksy, a 24 year old kitchen-fitter from Greenock whose real name is Shug, who has turned nearly the whole of Britain into an art gallery, specialising in leading curious art lovers into smellier and more ghastly locations.
Imitations of Banksy's work have proliferated to such a degree, nearly of all of London is virtually unrecognisable now.
"It's actually quite annoying," said one man we spoke to, a 54 year old futures analyst, "I keep walking into walls thinking they're open doorways, gap sites and on one occasion a lovely naked lady beckoning me into her arms. That really hurt."
Quentin Meanswell said the days of standing about, sipping on frankly disgusting wines, nibbling foul cheese and talking utter garbage to pretentious prats were over.
"Why pretend any longer that what we were doing was anything other than talking up heaps of crap some lazy sod from art school has knocked up from their stinking flat because they're too lazy to actually do any real work, such as paint, sculpt or draw. I think I'll change my name to Bob. Quentin was fine when I was surrounded by twats, now I want to converse with real people who are actually looking at something genuinely interesting.
Not all agree with Quentin. Miriam Bloot, a respected installation artist thinks everyone has fallen for a massive joke.
"I can not believe how incredibly stupid everyone is becoming over this." she told us, "How can it be that frankly populist folk-art can ever replace the intense and life-enhancing works of dedicated artists who devote their energies and wide-ranging talent to challenge space and time, to explore narratives in an immersive, reactive and proactive sensory experience using a multitude of tactile as well as informative media and forms?
"Is everyone having a laugh for God's sake?"
Quentin remains steadfast however.
"At least you get a laugh out of Banksy's work and I don't care about the smells in the alley. Better putting up with ancient piss than modern crap."
Want more? Then take enormous pleasure in clicking
this link we have generously provided to The
Front Page
About Chuffers - Disclaimer: This site is a satire site, if you
take it too seriously you're dafter than us (which is quite a feat!)
|