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You wouldn't get me telling you the colour of my underwear
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MPs must tell us when they go to the toilet and have fag breaks
Court ruling ends the good life for sponging ruling class...
MPs will have to reveal everything about their lives, according to a high court ruling today.
This will include the time they spend in the toilet and when they nip into the bar for a fly puff.
This follows another ruling which said MPs have to tell us where their second homes are, as a lot of people have difficulty finding them when they know the MP isn't actually at home.
Tim Spriggens, a property relocation and distribution operative, said,
"Will make my life a lot easier guv, I mean, it's furstrating, innit? You know these people have got lots of stuff from John Lewis in there, worth thahsunds, and you know they've got their fat arse in the bar, but where's the 'ouse? Now we know. Need a fitted kitchen mate?"
Other details MPs must divulge include:
Any gifts they've received from aunties
The colour of their underwear
The colour of their aunties' underwear
Who they snogged at school
Whether or not they did 'tongues'
If they have problems with gas
If they're gay
If their kids are gay
Whenever they forget to put the lavvy lid down, especially after big jobs.
One MP described the rulings as 'a gross intrusion' and said, "I really don't mind telling you if I'm gay or the colour of Aunt Mabel's knickers, but I draw the line at giving you my address.
"What will I do when the wife finds it out? No more Piccadilly rent boys for me!"
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