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Marizipan. It's yellow, just like the SNP logo |
Wendy Alexander falls over
I'm so dizzy, she tells reporters...
The leader of Labour's MSPs in the Scottish Parliament keeled over today for no apparent reason.
At a press conference following yet another u-turn from the Labour group in Scotland, she was seen to suddenly spin round and then fall into a large pot plant.
Journalists raced to assist the diminutive leader, but she brushed aside all offers of help.
"I did not come into politics to be pulled out from a rubber plant by a pack of hacks." she retorted and unsteadily rose to her feet.
Ms Alexander has been under a lot of strain recently as she has had to explain herself so many times she often forgets the original question.
"Sorry, what was I talking about?" she said as she retook her place and added, to the bewilderment of all present, "Ah yes, marzipan, lovely stuff. We should have more of it. My God I am so dizzy."
She steadfastly refuses to accept that she has put herself into an untenable position or that her leadership is under question.
"I did not come into politics to leave them again, I came in to... to... er. What the ruddy hell did I come into politics for? Ah yes, the yellow stuff... marzipan. See? It's the colour of the SNP logo."
Gordon Brown is said to be livid at Ms Alexander's incredible u-turns and defiance of Labour Party policy but a close friend said, "He's not really that bothered mind you, I mean at least Wendy's a laugh right now. You can't watch all of this and not smile. Do you think he suits pink incidentally?"
Nicola Sturgeon, Deputy Leader of the SNP, said "Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, help!!! Heeee-he-he-he-he! Ouch, my sides!" before she too keeled over into a plant pot.
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