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Wheee! We're going to the moon! |
Vatican to spread the Gospels in space
Church seeks alien converts...
The Vatican have enthusiastically embraced the idea of aliens in space and say they are ready to send a bishop or two up there to spread the gospels.
This follows an article in the Vatican newspaper by Father Gabriel Funes, an astronomer who said other intelligent life forms created by God could exist.
His Holiness is said to be intrigued by the idea of Space Travel after the church's successful foray into civil aviation.
"Basically," said Father O'Flanaganandallan, who has researched the possibilities of Gospels in Space, "It's all a matter of economics as well as belief. Look it's simple, if we believe in millions, possibly billions, of other life forms out there, who we can communicate with, then it stands to reason they will want to know our beliefs and may join our congregation. Who could pass up such a market ripe for picking?"
When asked if such intelligent beings might not have their own belief systems, or none, he frowned and shook his head, "What's the problem with that? Think about it - we pop down from the sky, we say 'We sent by heap big chief in sky - you pray he don't blast um backsides off.'
"Sorted."
Others remain unconvinced however, one leading clergymen told us, "Listen, we have a hard enough time convincing folks here of Immaculate Conception, Holy Ghosts and the Lord's amazing ability with loaves and fishes, how is that going to go down with some advanced civilisation billions of light years away? They'll just say we come from planet Loopy Tunes."
Early training missions for evangelical astronauts will take place soon.
"We'll send a couple of trainee monks to the moon first, use that as a training camp," said Father O'Flanaganandallan, "Boredom might be a problem, so we'll equip them with a couple of nuns. Well, it's a long haul to the nearest galaxy isn't it?"
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