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Gordon thinks pink suits him |
Gordon Brown to become Queen
Boring Gordon says putting on a crown and swinging a handbag will cheer us all up...
Gordon Brown bored the country rigid today with his draft Queen's Speech, prompting many to accuse him of having no ideas left.
However he stunned journalists by revealling how he is going to lose his boring image and at the same time inject new life into British politics.
"As you all know, I introduced the draft Queen's Speech, initially to allow for consultation over the summer before Her Majesty officially does the job.
"But I have realised that I am never going to be any good at doing this, unless I dress up as the Queen and do it properly."
He said he got the idea when he dressed up as Barbara Cartland and appeared on American Pop Idol.
"That was a lot of fun, the make-up, the dental treatment. Gosh weren't my teeth white!"
Not only does he want to dress up as the Queen for reading the speeches in future, but he thinks it would be great fun to actually be the Queen and give Her Maj time to rest a bit.
"Can you imagine me in sensible flats, a nice little twin set and the tiara and standing up at the UN? Americans adore that sort of thing in us Brits. I tell you what, that David Cameron will have one heck of a job batting down this girl across the despatch box. I think pink suits me, don't you?"
The Tories say they have no plans to copy Gordon's surprise tactics.
"These are Labour clothes we will NOT steal," said a spokesmen, "Mind you, hasn't David Cameron got the face for drag?"
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