Official: Britons as mad as brushes
You're all barking mad says MoD man...

Files have been released that show Britons really are totally nuts.

Under Freedom of Information laws, sensitive files kept by the MoD totally secret for years, have had to be released so newspapers can have a field day in showing us all up.

The files, known as Britain's 'X Files', contain reports from the public alerting authorities to UFO's and crackpots are dismayed by what they contain.

"We thought these were being kept secret because the government knew we were being visited by aliens," wailed Edmund Chiddingpole of Bury, a life-long UFO spotter, "Now it just seems they were protecting us from looking like idiots." he added as he smashed up a giant plastic flying saucer in his back garden. "Took me years to make that too."

In the files there are reports from people such as Mrs Honeypiece who witnessed 'strange craft with lights that made sounds like jet aircraft' in the skies above Luton airport. Disappointingly for Mrs Honeypiece, they were perfectly normal craft with lights and jet engines.

The entire town of Soddingbythewynd were in fear and trembling in 1982 as the skies erupted with flashes of light and terrific, terrifying noises. The MoD admitted it was quite a big thunderstorm.

Speaking anonymously an MoD spokesman said, "If the Russians had known then just how thick your average Briton is they wouldn't have spent billions of roubles on military hardware. They'd simply infiltrate our TV signals, appear in the middle of Nationwide and go 'BOO!' - The whole country would have capitulated before the skateboarding duck came on."

"Nutters."



 

Want more? Then take enormous pleasure in clicking this link we have generously provided to The Front Page

About Chuffers - Disclaimer: This site is a satire site, if you take it too seriously you're dafter than us (which is quite a feat!)